I hope that you see right through my walls

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?

Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

diabetic-problems:

submitted by so-ill-followthesun

iamthe-badwolfandmockingjay:

#this man writes pulitzer prize winning books people

ajtheiceman:

Fun fact: almost all of the Janitor’s lines were improv

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you! 
Boy: I love you more! 
 *After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.* 
Girl: Where is he? 
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart? 
Girl: (Starts crying) 
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.